Are We There Yet?

They say that home is where the heart is...
I guess I haven't found my home.

And we keep driving around in circles,
afraid to call this place our own.

And are we there yet?

I am curled up under blankets, trying to keep in the warmth.
I clutch the phone to my ear at 1:30AM.

"You're the person I would have a relationship with but you're too far away"

My stomach leaps.

I am a mixture of asleep and awake.
We were full of laughter
and then we were fighting...

Fighting about her true intentions, my inability to show enough interest, just about what we were doing in general with all of this...
and then she came out and said that.

I closed my eyes and sighed.
I don't want her to be the voice on the other end of the line.
I want her to be here.
But she'll never be here...at least not when I need her the most.
and I'm afraid to put more effort in this because I don't want to get hurt.


They say there's linings made of silver
Folded inside each raining cloud
Well, we need someone to deliver
Our silver lining now


I want to move on with my life...but I don't even know what that means.
Maybe I want him to be apart of all of that.
But, we are two giant entities of chaos.


And it won't be too much
'Cause this is too much
'Cause this is too much for me to hold
This is too much for me to hold


It's all up in the air for now.
But, it's a new year and it's all just beginning.
Here's to hoping I can find the right answers and the right people to have in my life.


And are we there yet?